Edge of Desire
by fancykidx
Summary: Blaine was humble, but even he could not ignore the fact that he was kind of a catch - a catch that, apparently, many guys at Dalton  but not Kurt  had realized. Oneshot. Kurt/Blaine.


**Hello, Glee fandom. My name is Jessica, and while this isn't my first fanfiction, it IS my first fanfiction for Glee!**

**I am relatively new to Glee - I mainly started watching when Darren Criss became a cast member, and I am so in love with Kurt/Blaine that it's kind of ridiculous. So, I come with fanfiction. Like I said, I'm still very new, so I might've gotten some mannerisms and characterizations wrong... I'm working on it.**

**This fic is loosely based on the lyrics to "Edge of Desire" by John Mayer. go listen to it if you get a chance.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Blaine, Wes, Darren, Kurt, Glee, or anything else mentioned here on out except for the plotline.**

**

* * *

**

Young and full of running  
Tell me, where has that taken me?  
Just a great figure eight or a tiny infinity?  
Love is really nothing but a dream that keeps waking me  
For all of my trying, we still end up dying  
How can it be?

In hindsight, Blaine should've known better than to trust Wes and David with his love life. When they had come to his bedroom after dinner and told him their "brilliant" idea, he laughed in their faces.

"Just a few dates, Blaine!" Wes had said, smiling wide. "We see how much you're pining over Kurt, and while we wholeheartedly support you, we also think that this - well, this obsession, with Kurt is preventing you from seeing other possible suitors that have their eye on you."

"What he said," David had nodded, smiling wide. "We like Kurt, we do, but we can see that it hurts you to not be with him the way you want to be with him. And well, maybe if you can get your mind off of him for a little while, it will be better. Maybe you'll stop hurting so much."

Blaine all but pushed them out of his room, sighing in exasperation.

Some best friends he has.

But the conversation had stuck in his head for days afterward and he suddenly became aware of how many admirers he had. He was humble, but even he could not ignore the fact that he was kind of a catch - a catch that, apparently, many guys at Dalton (but not Kurt) had realized. Blaine started noticing what he had not seen before - a Junior turning beet red when Blaine apologized for bumping into him, a Sophomore that outright stared at him as Blaine walked by, pulling off his blazer. And - a blush spread across his cheeks as he remembered - overhearing a conversation taking place between two seniors in the common room over "how good his butt looked in those jeans" that day.

And call Blaine selfish, but he just wants to be liked back. He wanted Kurt to love him the same way Blaine loved Kurt, but he was hurting too much from having to wait for him. So maybe it was kind of a good idea to go out with a few of his admirers. Just to get his mind off Kurt.

But Blaine, being as in love as he was, needed to know what Kurt thought of it first. He wasn't sure why, but he wanted a reaction from Kurt - something, _anything_ that would be an indication of how Kurt felt for him. Either a "you should go for it Blaine, I'll even help you pick out an outfit" or a "No, you should not be going out with other men because we belong together like Cory and Topanga" would suffice (though Blaine much preferred the latter), as long as he knew where he stood.

When he mentioned it to Kurt at lunch the following day, with a lot of laughs and ending with "Wes and David are crazy, right?", Kurt didn't even reply. He was too busy texting someone on the phone.

"… Kurt?" Blaine had asked, his insides squirming around uncomfortably.

"Hmm…? Oh, right, dates. Yeah, they're nice. I mean, I wouldn't know, I've never been on one, but they seem to be really nice in movies."

Blaine had to physically force himself to stop his jaw from dropping. "… Did you even hear a word I said?"

Kurt shrugged, smiling a little apologetically. "Sorry, Blaine. I was too busy texting Mercedes. Apparently she's trying to catch the eye of a new kid in school whose fashion sense is strictly limited to department stores and sales racks, so I'm trying to talk her out of it." Kurt giggled, and while Blaine felt like his heart was breaking, Kurt said, "What were you talking about?"

Blaine gulped. "Nothing. Just… Wes and David were being kind of smart the other day and… stuff."

Not only did Kurt show indifference towards the idea of Blaine dating, but he also cared more about Mercedes's love life than Blaine's! Which, he supposes, would make sense, considering Mercedes was his best friend, but it sucked that Blaine was talking about his love life, to his _crush_, and said crush _didn't even care!_

So maybe, _maybe_ going out on dates would be a good idea.

/

This is how Blaine finds himself at the Olive Garden down the street from Dalton with a boy named Hunter, who he had asked out when he noticed Hunter staring at him all throughout Biology.

Conversation was… well, not exactly moving quite like Blaine had hoped. Not that he wasn't trying; in fact, his charm-o-meter was probably about to break from how much he was laying it on. But perhaps it was a bit _too_ much - every time Blaine made a joke, Hunter's eyes widened and he started an eye staring contest with his fettucini alfredo.

"So," Blaine had asked, desperately trying to come up with a new topic to talk about. "… what's your favorite color?"

"Blue," Hunter replied automatically, and then slapped a hand over his mouth and blushed hard at his eagerness. Blaine smiled charmingly at the sight (it was sort of endearing), and Hunter immediately went darker and hid his face even more.

Blaine sighed. "Look, Hunter. You seem like a very nice guy. And honestly, you are cute. But I'm having a really hard time trying to get to know you, here… should I back off a bit? I feel like you're about to start hyperventilating."

Hunter shook his head rapidly. "No! No no no! I'm sorry, you're perfect. I honestly can't even _believe_ that you asked me out. I just… okay, promise not to laugh?"

Blaine leaned in slightly, the corner of his lips twitching upwards. _Progress at last_! "Promise."

Hunter audibly sighed, obviously swooning at the sight of Blaine's trademark smirk. "Well… I've just sort of dreamed about this since you first came to Dalton last year. I mean, I really admired you. But you were so talented and popular that I didn't even think you knew I existed."

Blaine's heart kind of melted at those words, and his smile grew wider. "Admired me, huh?"

Conversation become much easier after that, Hunter obviously relieved at getting that off his chest and eagerly telling him more.

Unfortunately, the more Hunter told him, the less flattered Blaine became.

In fact, he was actually kind of creeped out.

After Hunter finished the story of how he had a memory card full of pictures of Blaine, Blaine called the waitress over for the check, slapped down a one hundred dollar bill, and hurriedly explained how he would "call him, eventually."

Blaine tried not to feel too guilty as he practically ran back to his room. Hunter was nice, and he obviously cared a lot about Blaine, but Blaine felt an "I like the kid but I am never letting him anywhere near any of my possessions for fear of suddenly losing them" approach towards their relationship (friendship - _acquaintanceship_ - Blaine thought, shuddering slightly) would be better.

/

"How'd the date go?" Wes asked as Blaine walked into the common room and plopped into the couch between David and Kurt.

"Exhausting. I feel like I need to install a security camera in my room and start locking up my possessions," Blaine replied, closing his eyes and exhaling deeply.

"Well, there's plenty of other fish in-" David started, but Blaine opened his eyes and shot him the most intense glare he could come up with, so David awkwardly trailed off.

"Well, I really can't say I'm surprised," Kurt sniffed. "Hunter is so obviously subpar. I mean, the boy wears _plaid pajama pants _to bed. It was ridiculous of you to believe for even an instant that he could be relationship material."

"Hey, hey," Blaine said, frowning slightly. He knew that Kurt could be bluntly honest, but there was something more scathing in his tone. "Hunter was a nice guy, really. He just… was too nice."

"Too _nice_?" Wes asked, raising an eyebrow.

Blaine winced. "He pulled out a pair of my flip flops, and then proceeded to tell me about how I had left them after swimming practice last year… and how he chose to keep them instead of returning them because he liked feeling like he had a little piece of me."

Blaine rolled his eyes as the other boys fell to the floor with their laughter.

/

The next date came a few days later with a boy named Aaron from Blaine's calculus class, who Blaine had asked out after seeing a Queen pin on his lapel.

This date seemed to be going a lot more smoothly than his previous date had, as Blaine found that they both had a love for Marion Cotillard and Harry Potter, and even used _the same brand of hair ge_l.

After only half an hour, Blaine was already having visions of the two of them walking down the hallways hand in hand.

That is, until the topic of music was discussed.

"I love Queen," Blaine had said, smiling wide, "But in all honesty, I think my all time favorite musician would be Katy Perry."

"I hate Katy Perry."

Blaine blinked. "You… what?"

"I just… I don't know. I'm not really a fan of her music."

"… What?" Blaine tilted his head to the side, confused. "I don't understand what you're telling me."

"I. Don't. Like. Katy. Perry."

There was a moment of silence.

Then: "I'm sorry, Aaron. I just don't think this is going to work out."

/

Word starts to spread among the gay teens in the school - _Blaine is going on dates! _Blaine finds himself walking down the hallways with a strut in his step, winking flirtatiously at the boys that smile at him and even saying things such as "your hair looks especially nice today" to those few that were daring enough to say "good morning" to him.

Blaine's days start to have a routine: class until 2:30, Warblers until 4, homework until 7, and then a date, followed by a round of "how did it go?" with Wes, David, and Kurt in Blaine's room. Blaine told them all of the positive things ("he held the door for me, and he's got a '65 Mustang Cobra!" "He started to sing into my ear!") to the downright horrible ("he was wearing green pants with an _orange_ shirt, I couldn't believe it..." "He spent a full 20 minutes discussing the 'brilliance' of Jersey Shore! I felt like my brain was literally melting...") and after he was finished, Wes would always ask the same question: "So, are you planning on taking him out on a second date?"

Every time, the answer was no.

Blaine found a fault with each and every one of the boys that he went out with: Joseph didn't care enough for his skin, Michael was too tall, Jake had an obnoxious laugh... and honestly, Blaine was a bit picky. But he couldn't help it - none of those boys even came close to comparing with Ku-

_No, _Blaine thought firmly. He would not let his thoughts go there.

And so the dates continued.

/

"Oh my _God_, what is _wrong _with you?"

Wes, David, and Blaine all look to Kurt with shocked expressions on their faces. Blaine had just answered his usual "no" to a second date with Jimmy, a boy who took him out ice skating but then ate 7 slices of pizza in 10 minutes flat.

"Uhm," Blaine said. "What?"

Kurt was staring at Blaine with angry, narrowed eyes. "You heard me. _God_, what is _wrong_ with you? Do you think that we _want_ to listen to you talk _every_ night about _every_ boy and _every_ date and _every_ freaking _look_ you share with someone? And it's not like it's just one guy, either, it's several. _Multiple_. Hell, at this point you've gone out with about 90% of the gay population here at Dalton! What is _wrong_ with you?"

"Whoa, whoa, hey-" David started, but Blaine, with anger written all over his face, silenced him.

He turned back to Kurt. "Excuse me, I didn't _ask_ you to come into my room every night and listen to me talk. You voluntarily _chose_ to come in here. And I would think that, as one of my _best friends_, you would be _happy_ about me being happy. _About other people making me happ_y."

"I would be if you'd just pick one guy and stick with him!" Kurt retorted, crossing his arms. "You're going out with anything that walks on two legs nowadays! You're such a-"

"A what, Kurt? A what?"

"A-a manwhore, Blaine! You're such a _manwhore_! You're playing with everyone's hearts and everyone is getting hurt, especially me!"

The anger that was slowly starting to consume Blaine diminished slightly in his confusion. "You?"

Kurt flushed, as if realizing what he just said. He looked as if he was frantically searching for words before finally replying, "Yes, me! When was the last time we got to hang out, just the two of us? Now it's just, _'sorry, Kurt, I'm going bowling with Alex_' or _'I'd love to talk, Kurt, but I have to go pick out my outfit for tonight_!'"

"Well, I didn't know that it was bothering you so much!"

"Well, it was!"

"Well, how was I supposed to know?"

"Well, you should have just known!"

"Well, I'm _sorry_ that I don't have time to keep tabs on you all the time!"

The last thing Blaine heard was a shrill "_fuck you" _aimed in his direction before Kurt stalked out of the room.

Fuming, Blaine turned to Wes and David who were cowering slightly in the corner.

"... We should've brought popcorn," Wes said silently.

"Get out."

/

Despite the heavy weight of guilt inside of him, Blaine asked a Warbler named Nick out for dinner the next day. He honestly regretted saying a few of the things he said to Kurt, but then again, Kurt had said some really nasty things, as well. Blaine wasn't the only one who owed an apology.

And dinner with Nick was going well. He was polite, and sweet, and funny, and smart... and in addition to his sparkling personality and interests, he wasn't too hard on the eyes, either. With his slightly wavy brown hair and deep chocolate eyes, Blaine found himself more and more captivated with the boy as time went on.

This was truly the best date Blaine had been on so far: him and Nick were so completely compatible that it was slightly ridiculous. He was, in Blaine's mind, absolutely perfect as far as potential love interests go; there was literally no reason as to why they _shouldn't _go on a second date.

Except...

Except Nick's hair was dark brown and wavy, not light brown and gelled into place. Nick's eyes were chocolate brown, not an absolutely stunning mix of green, blue, and grey. Nick was muscular and tan, not lithe and a beautiful shade of white.

In short, Nick was Nick. Not Kurt.

And honestly, it didn't even matter to Blaine anymore what Kurt had said to him.

Because... well, because Blaine loved him. And even though he was trying to avoid the topic by dating other guys, Blaine refused to go out with any of them more than once, because they were not, and would never be able to _compare_ to, Kurt.

Blaine only wanted Kurt.

And so, as Nick attempted to give Blaine a kiss goodnight after walking him back to his room, Blaine dodged it, instead leaning in for a hug.

"I had a fun time tonight, Nick," Blaine whispered in his ear. "I really did. But I honestly don't think this will work out between us."

And with that, he gave him a small smile and opened his door.

... And found Kurt on the other side, by himself, sitting on his bed and staring with wide eyes at Blaine.

/

"How did your date go?" Kurt asks. No preamble, no "hello." Blaine shrugs, aiming for nonchalant but instead looking incredibly stiff and awkward.

"It went really well," Blaine replies, not meeting Kurt's eyes as he shuts his door.

"That's... well, that's good." Kurt's voice sounds slightly strangled, as if he's having trouble breathing, and Blaine looks at Kurt's face in surprise and confusion. "Do you think you might go on a second date?" He continues, his voice getting quieter.

"Don't know," Blaine says, but in his head he's thinking, _No, I am not going on a second date with him. I don't want to go on a second date, or a third date, or a fourth date, or even a fiftieth date with anyone else but you, _but he doesn't dare say it out loud.

"Oh."

There's an awkward silence, one where they're just staring at each other's faces, as if waiting to see who was brave enough to start speaking first.

Blaine sighs, breaking. "Look, Kurt... I'm sorry. You were right, okay? I was being... well, promiscuous, I guess. I probably shouldn't have gone out with so many guys in such a short period of time. I don't know what I was thinking. And I didn't know that it upset you so much... you should've just told me. I would've stopped. I'm _stopping. _I don't like it when you're upset."

Blaine waited patiently for Kurt to say something back... but it seemed that all Kurt was capable of doing was staring blankly, biting his lip. "Kurt?"

Kurt held up his hand, indicating for Blaine to be silent. He sucked in a breath. "Let me talk, okay?"

Blaine nodded, and Kurt nervously ran his fingers through his hair.

"I stopped believing in love a long time ago. I just… it seemed so foolish to believe in it when I've gotten hurt so many times trying to find it. I saw the people around me breaking up and it - it was messy, Blaine, and i just stopped wanting to be a part of it." Kurt stopped. Blaine opened his mouth to talk - but say what, exactly, Blaine didn't know, because_ the love of his life just said he didn't believe in love_ and every God that was out there must hate him so much to ruin his life like this - but Kurt was stepping closer and looking up at Blaine through his eyelashes and Blaine closed his mouth, swallowing hard, and nodded.

"But then - but then you came along and you turned it all around. You smile at me from across the room and you let me win at Guitar Hero and you're the only one that I let touch my hair because I trust you, you _made_ me trust you, and I'm t-_terrified_-"

"Kurt -" Blaine starts, his heart racing fast, because_ oh my god_-

"- I'm terrified because you make me feel things that I've been trying so hard not to feel, I'm terrified because I have these dreams where we're sitting on a couch and watching our children fight over toys on Christmas, I'm terrified because I swore to myself that I would stop believing in love but every time I look at you that word is the only one that runs through my mind-"

"Kurt, Kurt, I -"

"No, no, just let me-" Kurt was stepping closer now, a wild look in his eyes, and Blaine wonders how long this has been building up, how long Kurt must have been bottling it all inside - "I stopped believing in love but I fell in love with you. And I'm terrified because I don't have anything in me that can make you stay, and I can't handle it if you leave because I can't - I _can't_, I can't get hurt again, I just - but I've been lying in bed every night for hours on end, _seething_ with jealousy when I wonder who it is you've been on a date with this time, whether or not you've swooned over them, imagining their hands holding yours, and _wishing that it could be me_-"

"Only you, Kurt, I've only ever wanted it to be you-" And Blaine couldn't help it, he couldn't stand it anymore, not when Kurt's body is shaking with unshed tears and Blaine reaches out and pulls Kurt as close to his body as he can as his lips kiss the first spot on Kurt he could reach - which ended up being his jaw - and dragging them up so - _oh_, there's Kurt's _mouth_, and it tastes like the peach chapstick he's always using and the pineapple slices Kurt must have eaten during dinner, and Kurt's _lips_ are moving against his, and Kurt's _body_ is pressing closer to his, and Kurt's _breathing his air_ and gasping his name and tugging at his gelled down curls and this is sensory overload but Blaine doesn't care, because all he can think right now is _holy shit_.

Their frantic energy dies down eventually and Blaine presses a few more soft kisses to Kurt's lips before he pulls away, burying his face into Kurt's neck and breathing in his scent. "_Kurt_," he gasps out, trying to slow his racing heart.

Silence, and then - Blaine hears a sniffle.

He looks up, and upon noticing the tears falling from Kurt's eyes, he pulls away completely, taking a few shocked steps back.

"Oh my _God_," he whispered, eyes wide and ashamed. "I'm so sorry - I didn't mean to - completely inappropriate of me, forcing myself on - I couldn't -"

But Kurt is hurriedly wiping his tears away and stepping closer, a smile on his face. "No, no, don't apologize, I - I'm just… _happy_. Happier than I've been in a long time."

A wave of relief crashes on Blaine and his face splits into a wide grin. Smoothing his hand over his hair, he wraps an arm around Kurt's waist and pulls him closer again. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have assumed like that. I just… I can't mess this up." And there it is. Kurt needs someone to love him and Blaine will love him with everything he has in him, but he is scared that it will not be enough.

"You _can't_ mess this up." And Kurt smiles before leaning in again and capturing Blaine's lips with his own and Blaine thinks that maybe, with the love that's floating all around them, everything will be okay.

/

Don't say a word just come over and lie here with me  
'Cause I'm just about to set fire to everything I see  
I want you so bad, I'll go back on the things I believe  
There, I just said it: I'm scared you'll forget about me


End file.
